Seen Top Gear? The Clarkson tall bloke who over rules and over speaks everyone, (he owns the show , Can you tell? ) then we have Hammond, the small chirpy guy who was recently smashed to smithereens whilst driving some kind of rocket powered pencil down a straight line on a soggy November morning in England (not the best driving weather) ,Then you have the Hairy bloke, who is likable, but much maligned by the other two and eminently forgettable, which is a shame because I think he’s rather the best of the trio. I did go to the Top Gear website, but no mention of him there, not even a pic. Just Clarkson this ,Blow up that, Challenge this, Smash that, oh And the Bugatti V (eyron fastest car on Earth) left right and centre.

Anyway, Nuff of that for the moment, This image is of the best driving road on Earth. Full Stop. No, actually, Full Throttle! Nestled in the mountains near Dubai, the facts are asonishing

Check out what the Arabs have been quietly grinding away at for the past few years ...Seems the Super rich governing family of Dubai not only like their cars, But they are rather keen to have a location at which they can push them to the limits!

The Jebel Hafeet Mountain Road in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) is the arguably the greatest driving road in the world. Stretching for 7.3 miles and climbing nearly 4,000 feet, it boasts 60 corners and a surface so smooth that a racetrack would seem gritty after slicking your way around here.. It could easily be described as the eighth wonder of the world, but for some reason, it’s been totally un-promoted ,well I guess it is just a road, albeit blown, drilled and scraped through 7 miles of ascending 50 million year old desert rock."The road is cut into the Jebel Hafeet mountain, the highest peak in the oil-rich Persian Gulf state of the United Arab Emirates ,. The mountain spans the border with Oman and lies about 90 minutes' drive southeast of the ever expanding and increasingly astounding city of Dubai . It looks down upon a dusty, desert landscape that belies a nation of astonishing wealth.

Surely worth some sort of Arabesque (and I don’t mean a dancing twist) challenge for the program where perhaps Clarkson is ensconced once more inside the – you guessed it - The Bugatti Veyron whilst chased in a nail bitingly close race as Hammond and the other guy – who I rather like but was unable to recall the name of and after scanning the TV shows website I found only one blurry image as he sat behind Hammond, but otherwise no mention of him, Does Clarkson own this show or something? , oh… he does? Ok - anyway I digress, Stick them both on Arabian Racing Camels and give them a head start, no need to use the road they can just clamber directly up the mountains 7.3 mile , 4000 metre incline rock by rock in the searing heat of the desert at noon whilst being afforded – by the rules of the challenge the aide of ancient methods of survival such as sweating, bug chewing, camel urine drinking etc. Whilst Clarkson swoops majestically along in the Veyron empowered by some stunning camera work from the chopper we pan around and down into the interior of this wonderful machine to be greeted by the sight of a typically cramped Clarkson once more waxing lyrical about the sheer oomph and grip and sheer stopping power and the little flap that helps one to do so with such awesome
showoff-ability and the air conditioning and the fact that no one watching the program will ever
afford one in their miserable lives whilst hinting that he just might…
The challenge idea is a cracker , a dead cert, the rating would go thru the roof, … imagine how miserable the hairy one would get in character , and out ,no doubt. By the way, all though it’s a tooth and nail fight for the finish as Hammond and Co actually cross the road on the final bend slapping camel arse for all they are worth, then take once more for the rocks as Clarkson swoops round blowing dust up their arses, his final worry is whether the Veyrons Wind Break will have the stopping power to prevent him from over shooting and plummeting to his doom, our hearts – the faithful viewers – thump with anticipation, but noooo a camel stalls at the last, spitting like the queen after crunching on a cockroach in the salad, the beast refuses to move one more step. . The Veyron Takes it.

Top Gear, We enjoy it? yeah, course we do,

But it has to be said that it is in no way anything but overpriced, over budget, tom foolery being played out by Over paid presenters.
Clarkson Currently has no less than & books on the market for Christmas .

This is where it starts ....... the story of me, as i recall it in detail or atall

This is my book. From start to finish in all warts and glory my life and its curiosities will be laid bare for all to see.

Hello,... i'm amazed you've stumbled across this little page as far it's embryonic state in weblog terms of the great and swelling ranks i'm a tad late moving from Usenet and Paper! ....

But its going to be growing, growing with more words each day, mostly my own, ...but i am hoping for a few Wiki-style collaborators to join perhaps the fray as i progress.

Pretty much starting from the day i was thrust into this world onto a kitchen table on the slopes of Mount Etna which floats atop the isle of Sicily in the Med, just outside a small townlet that goes by the name of Santa Margherita. . .

As the octogenarian midwife took 2 hours to plod her way up the mountainside, my father his not uncharacteristic patience whipped out the bread knife and unceremoniously severed the maternal link and that was that ... I was Human , and with (at the time) 1 head, 2 arms and 2 legs I was to head forth, go forth and multiply.

But what i hadn't accounted for was the uniformed and unquestioning manner in which i was expected to go forth , I never intended to be any type of rebel or one who would incite type of mutiny or upheaval in others.

I simply wanted - and still aspire to - to be a normal kid who for the most part would be ignored as he went about his everyday trials and experimentation's upon the planet i'd been plonked upon .

The system though seemed to have different ideas. Me, happily avoid schooling at all cost -actually at a cost of £25 English pounds in a 1975 courtroom appearance for my mother - i went off into the world, as i tried to just remain unnoticed , i was more often picked out of the crowd and asked to explain myself.

There is an early singular example of this i can give in order for you , the reader to get an idea of how early this young life was already being asked to question where i fitted in and if indeed i actually wanted to.

One early memory is a chill Autumn day in an England i had literally just set foot upon the previous week and was thus far enjoying the crispness of September mornings on my face as i trotted to school for my first few days accompanied by my Brother who was 4 months my junior - this is possible due to the fact my mother has brought him home with the bread one morning in Rome as we travelled back thru Italy toward the UK , his American mother had mistakenly become pregnant by an Italian father, the babe was not 'Right' she was on her way to drop him at the children's home, thus my mother bundled him up , asked what she had called him during the 3 days he'd been alive and brought him back to the bus and fed us both as twins upon her lap, which was fine because there wasn't a great deal of 'proper food about for the adults.*footnote i shall elaborate in a separate post - my 2nd day at school as i sat eating my lunch with a fork in hand simply scooping the canteen creation of the morning into my mouth I felt a tug on my lanky blond locks from behind followed by the booming voice of a strikingly pale bespectacled male teacher who proceeded to announce to the dining hall "This Lad, This Lad, Is a Fork. Have you seen a fork before Lad?" Yes, yes i have, i replied. "then why are you using it lie a shovel boy?" I was just eating my pasta. " Ahhh Yes, Italian aren't you?" not really, 'i do come from Italy and places like that tho' "Attention everybody Montana is going to show us how to eat spaghetti the Italian way" i was shaking in my over sized big brothers boots, this was the first time in my life i'd been spoken to not just the same as anyone else in the room big or small alike. So - 'ok you kind of turn your fork upside down and twizzle it round then eat it quickly before it falls off again' " Upside Down? A Fork in England , Lad is used with the prongs down to impale your meat whilst your knife is held in the left hand to slice the meat, two utencils .Use them. " 'I don't eat meat' i replied hesitantly, "What!? Don't Eat Meat? whats wrong with your mother , I should think she needs her brains examining and tell her to get you a haircut whilst shes at it."

Later the same week my class teacher attempted to cut my hair in front of the class.

The following week i was caned for not wearing underpants to school (discovered as i changed for gym, i wasn't aware of anything until all the boys and girls across the other side of the hall started to snigger a trickle of laughs which soon flowed into a fully fledged ridiculing hysteria. The PE Teacher(physical education in that era of UK education) noticed the commotion. took me promptly to the headmasters office who had the almost instantaneous brainwave that a caning would sting through trousers with no underpants so very much more that i would surely never omit to put my pants on again.

Oddly.... I don't wear underpants to this day! :) .... I cant' see the point, whadda ya do? leap out of bed jump into your Y-Fronts then Exclaim "Righty Ho! Now i'm ready for anything the day can chuck at me" ... Me? I just like to get up, have shower, then pull on a pair of crisply laundered tight blue jeans and stride forth into the day head, - Actually blue jeans can equally be replaced by gentleman's suit trousers Brown cotton is a variety i particularly like. Ideally as the wonderful literary cynic Bill Burroughs had once noted , that if i were able i would buy 7 brown slack Cotton suits with 7 pairs of bracers attached and cotton shirts of quality to match, then dressing & clothing is simple , simply pull one off the hanger each day and you've got it.

If any of the above sounds familiar , intriguing or even a bearable tale to follow on casual evenings i shall be starting from the womb then across Europe with my parents in Red London Double Decker Bus, then onward thru artistry, failure, carpentry, Working as an anchor locker boy on one of the last great fishing schooners of the Mediterranean, amputation, cabinetmaking, drug dealing, Organic veg production, farming small scale cannabis indoor industries, 10 years on the British music festival scene pumping out what in the end where extraordinary quantities of very reasonable Organic Falafels. and swift exits to European Van powered journeys of misguided yet well intended bouts of discovery......

Bare with me , .... it'll be a daily effort , true to the word.... unless incrimination crops up (no pun intended!:))

my name by the way is Rae Montana.(for this purpose, the Christian name my father gave me is simply to unpronounceable due to the fact it comes across so appallingly in print because of accents and the like)